Three weeks ago, I drove five hours to watch my old friend from my freshman year of college marry the love of her life. Cutest wedding I've ever witnessed. In order to make it to the wedding, I had to ask off the entire weekend for work. During the week I coach high school volleyball so I can only work weekends at my actual job. For two consistent weeks after the wedding, my workplace didn't bother to put me on the schedule. YESSSSS, I love being broke. Irritated, I did the wrong thing and didn't even call the manager who makes the schedule to inform him that he didn't put me on the schedule. Bad mistake. I dropped my account down to about $11. Luckily my mother saw this and put money into my account and saved my ass a bit. I also get paid for coaching on November 9th, which I'm overjoyed about!! It should be somewhere around $2000. I've been waiting on this day since the first week in June, a whole 5 months. I finally do not have to struggle and count out money from the change jar to pay for my rent.
I want to do so many things right now, but laziness is stopping me. I want to read ahead in my chapters for school; I want to find a new job that I actually enjoy; I want to find a quality boy that is worth my time; I want to go to the gym and get my Spring Break body back..
Guess I'll just settle on expanding my cat collection for the future.
Love Always,
Cat Lady
Monday, October 22, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Fears vs. Dreams
Someone asked me the other day what I wanted to do with my life. Immediately the typical answer popped into my head: get married, have kids, have a steady paying job, etc. Then I really thought. What do I want? If I could do anything in this entire universe, I think I would love to devote my time and effort to the obese people in America. If any of you have watched the Biggest Loser or Extreme Makeover-Weight Loss Edition with Chris Powell, you may know what I'm talking about ((http://chrispowell.com/success-stories/)). What people like Jillian Michaels and Chris Powell do is so inspirational. I cry during every episode I watch of either of these shows. Some people are already disagreeing with me, thinking people like this are cruel and unsympathetic. This is not the case at all in my mind. People need an extra push. Just one person to reach out and push them to their limits and beyond. I want to be that person. I want to put the fear of God into people, encourage them and help them realize that the path their headed down may be fatal.. I want to make a difference in these people's lives because other people in their lives have failed them and allowed them to become obese. I want to help people look and feel fabulous inside and out. That is my number one dream, without a doubt.
Here comes the heavy shit. I dislike spiders, but I can't say I'm horrified when I spy one. Same with snakes and noises in silent homes. I fear being alone for the rest of my life because of my constant ways of stubbornness and shutting people out of my life because I don't want to take the time to really get to know them or vice versa. I fear losing the people I love most in life. I fear being a disappointment--I would much rather have someone pissed at me then hear "I'm disappointed" come from their mouth. It breaks my heart to hear that because it proves to myself that I was a good example to follow in that person's eyes, but after I did whatever I chose to do, I am no longer trustworthy or reliable. It burns in my heart a little. I think another one of my huge fears is something happening to my parents, especially my dad. I am and will always be a daddy's girl whether he knows it or not. In 2005, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. It's been 7 years and he's still healthy for the most part. In June 2012 he was taken into the ER because he could not feel his left leg (the one effected with Parkinson's). He was diagnosed with "Drop Foot" due to a pinched nerve in his upper thigh. After the ER visit happened, his gait is slower and more shuffled. In March 2011, I witnessed my dad walk my sister down the aisle to marry my now brother-in-law. It never crossed my mind until that very moment that someday, he may not be able to do the same with me. I cried. Not because my sister looked beautiful in her wedding dress and was finally taking the next step in her life, but because when the time comes for me to walk down that very aisle, my dad may not be able to walk by my side. The pressure is building up in my throat and weighing on my heart now. It sounds selfish, but no woman should ever have to make that walk alone on that special day.
Maybe someday I'll get married, but for now, it is and forever will be
Cat Lady
Here comes the heavy shit. I dislike spiders, but I can't say I'm horrified when I spy one. Same with snakes and noises in silent homes. I fear being alone for the rest of my life because of my constant ways of stubbornness and shutting people out of my life because I don't want to take the time to really get to know them or vice versa. I fear losing the people I love most in life. I fear being a disappointment--I would much rather have someone pissed at me then hear "I'm disappointed" come from their mouth. It breaks my heart to hear that because it proves to myself that I was a good example to follow in that person's eyes, but after I did whatever I chose to do, I am no longer trustworthy or reliable. It burns in my heart a little. I think another one of my huge fears is something happening to my parents, especially my dad. I am and will always be a daddy's girl whether he knows it or not. In 2005, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. It's been 7 years and he's still healthy for the most part. In June 2012 he was taken into the ER because he could not feel his left leg (the one effected with Parkinson's). He was diagnosed with "Drop Foot" due to a pinched nerve in his upper thigh. After the ER visit happened, his gait is slower and more shuffled. In March 2011, I witnessed my dad walk my sister down the aisle to marry my now brother-in-law. It never crossed my mind until that very moment that someday, he may not be able to do the same with me. I cried. Not because my sister looked beautiful in her wedding dress and was finally taking the next step in her life, but because when the time comes for me to walk down that very aisle, my dad may not be able to walk by my side. The pressure is building up in my throat and weighing on my heart now. It sounds selfish, but no woman should ever have to make that walk alone on that special day.
Maybe someday I'll get married, but for now, it is and forever will be
Cat Lady
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