Well...guess i messed it all up. I guess i basically see the situation like this: Patrick only wants me for sex and doesn't want a relationship(or is too scared to be in one) so if he wants ME, he can get a hold of me. There's no point in making an effort on my part because i know all he wants is sex..so he didnt text me friday night when i went out for my roommate jaymee's birthday & i got really drunk and texted him and just wanted him to come over and hold me and then fuck the shit out of me hahaha but he just kept sayin no i can't (it's a long drive) so i was like okay and he kept giving his ipod to ian AGAIN so it was taking him forever to reply and when i get drunk i wanna talk NOW there is no "hold on" its now.so i got mad that he wouldnt talk and never does for that matter.so then he goes okay you wanna talk, ill talk.then i told him something and he fell asleep.classy.so he texts me back in the morning saying i cant get mad because he told me he was in bed and i just said i didnt care..which i did say and still mean.and that i didnt text him all day and waited til i was drunk to do so.whatever..so now theres a slight issue and it bothers me..i miss him a lot.like last night we worked together and i just wanted to go back to his house and sleep with him..yes i do mean actual sleep, not sex.thats how i am.i can go and hang out..he doesnt seem to be able to reciprocate. anyways..now i just want to talk to him but he hasnt replied yet and its been an hour.i wish he could see things from my point of view SO badly.but that would require us actually talking in person not through text.texts can get confusing and misread.i want to just calmly tell him how i feel and just have him listen and understand where im coming from.and try and fix things by talking, not by having makeup sex without even having fixed things.
love always,
cat lady
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