More thinking..TWLOHA

So I was thinking more about the J situation..why do I buy into his nice guy act and let him get what he wants and then not speak to me? It's ridiculous and I'm tempted to just tell him how it is. I'd delete his number, but I have it memorized..I either need him 100% in my life, or 100% out of it, there can't be an in between.

Meanwhile, I got my ear --a triple forward helix!!!!I love love love it. The pop of the needle going through was the absolute worst,but still bearable. looks like this (:

Today is international pancake day--aka this girl is going to IHOP before they close tonight!!
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today is the first day of march! R & I are sitting at the TWLOHA table today to share info about self-harm. we made ribbons and bracelets last night and posters and they're all so stinkin cute im excited to be doing something for such a good cause. were also doing henna tattoos and body painting "love" on peoples arms. most excited about that i'd say!!

when i was in 8th grade, my best friend at the time, K, was dating a guy named chris. he had heart problems along with huge family problems. i dont remember specifics but i think his dad abandoned his mom and him when chris was young..there was definitely negativeness towards his dad. anyways..chris dealt with his pain with his dad by cutting himself.mainly on the thighs. he talked to K about it once and she didn't understand how he could to that to himself and all she wanted to do was understand why he would do such a thing..so she cut herself once to see if she could understand. that first time, lead to a second, and then a third and before i could realize it, my best friend was a cutter too. it broke my heart and made me feel so helpless that i couldnt be there with her ALL the time to tell her not to do it or to keep my eye on her. im happy she told me but it weighed on me so badly. one day she had an awful episode and pulled a knife from the kitchen and hid in the bathroom from her mom whom is one of the sweetest ladies i've ever met..after she came out, K's older brother took her for a drive to talk. they had no destination in mind, just a tank full of gas and a lot on the mind. they talked for hours about her cutting among other things. it was 6 years ago. K and I aren't really friends anymore but anytime i overhear someone talk about how they dont understand people who can harm themselves, it really gets me going inside. I realized..it doesnt matter that YOU understand. YOU just have to help them. That's all they need; someone to talk to. you dont have to speak any words..just listen.so today is for K, my dear old best friend whom I am so thankful is still alive today and has quit hurting herself.

love always,
Cat Lady